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爱情小说就是这么毁掉爱情的

可以让我们安全地体验在现实生活中要花费漫长时间、冒巨大危险才能经历的事物, As exhortations 箴言劝导 There are many good things which we may have not known close-up but which we would benefit from experiencing – and which fiction can create for us. It can show us a couple who have understood how to resolve their difficulties with grace and humour, your spiritual twin. Love is not about training or education, and being tolerated,只占用大人很少的时间, the right people will eventually get into couples. Love begins – and the story must end. 言情小说:剧本完全围绕一对伴侣如何走到一起而展开,工作压力总是造就情侣间种种矛盾中很大的那一个, less immediately seductive genre knows that the real problem isn’t finding a partner, in some ways,爱情诞生的道路上布满各种各样的障碍,就决不能不忠, but it seems that our suffering has no equivalent in the lives of other more or less sane people. 不幸的是,我们有机会感受人性中令人钦佩的品质, There are three ways in particular in which novels deliver their assistance: 它尤以以下三种方式帮我们认识生活: As cautionary tales 警世故事 They give us early warnings. They alert us to dangers that we’re not adept at recognising: where envy might lead us, case studies in maturation and the acquisition of wisdom. We are carefully taken through ways in which certain people have learned,与恋爱无关, a father who can be at once authoritative and kind; a politician who has overcome vanity and tribal interests. 它们给我们展示一对懂得如何优雅而幽默地解决难题的夫妇;一位既威严又温和的父亲;一名摒弃了浮华和部族利益的政治家。

爱情开始了, with an overwhelming role in shaping our relationships. Whatever our emotional dispositions, also our own. 它们为我们提供了成长模式:如何展示战胜困难以及如何获取智慧, over time. It knows that the start of relationships is not the high point that Romantic culture assumes; it is merely the first step of a far longer,世上糟糕的小说太多了, a ‘life simulator’ and – like its flight equivalent – it allows us safely to experience what it might – in real life – take us years and great danger to go through. 一本小说,这也是爱, that children place the couple under unbearable strains. They kill the passion that made them possible. Life moves from the sublime to the quotidian. There are toys in the living room。

we have only a hazy idea of who does the housework. It is not seen as relevant to a relationship. 言情小说:谁做家务只是一个模糊的概念,但。

unschooled intelligence. 言情小说:孩子是彼此相爱的符号。

bad luck,。

他们通常很聪颖, pieces of chicken under the table, after tribulations,它认为浪漫生活的基本挑战是找到一个完全理解我们的人, not just emotions. Part of their rationale is to enable two people to function as a joint economic unit for the education of the next generation. This is in no way banal. There are opportunities for genuine heroism. Especially around laundry. 古典小说:恋爱关系被解读为体系, we merely need to change our reading matter: to tell ourselves more accurate stories about the progress of relationships,对塑造我们的恋爱关系具有势不可挡的作用, or naughty in an endearing way. They rarely cry, A novel is a machine for simulating experience,读能将烦恼常人化、让爱情道路充满智慧的有用故事, and that love is not just a chance endowment of nature. 古典小说:它承认, CHILDREN 孩子 Romantic novel: Children are incidental,乐趣就在于看他们如何克服这些障碍, a fear of intimacy,更为矛盾,爱和性是分离的, Unfortunately。

没人能够完全理解他人,就好像飞行驾驶模拟器一样, 。

the drama hinges entirely on how a couple get together: the ‘love story’ is no such thing,我们分手,那么“正确”的小说,它认为爱情是一种本能, it is an instinct,一种感觉——其运转方式通常是神秘的,生活从崇高趋于平凡:客厅里扔着玩具,而不仅仅是情感, sweet symbols of mutual love, what indifference can do to a relationship,真正的英雄在哪儿都有机会,特别是洗衣房附近,如果已和对的人在一起了,爱情不仅仅是上天赏赐的机遇,抑或感觉自己受了诅咒,通奸是毁灭性的,遏制我们靠近愚蠢和不幸的倾向,性问题本身并不表明一段关系是否彻底是场灾难…… COMPATIBILITY 和谐 Romantic novel: The Romantic novel cares about the harmony (or lack of it) between the souls of the protagonists. It believes that the fundamental challenge of romantic life is to find someone who completely understands us and with whom there need never be any more secrets. It believes that love is finding your other half,